Kimulator – 2016’s best kept secret! A game review!
If you’re a gamer you are likely playing No Man’s Sky right now, but let me tell you this: You are missing out on the best game release in 2016. No, fuck that, you’re missing the best game release in the history of the gaming industry.
That game… is…. Kimulator.
That is right. Put down your No Man’s Sky. Cancel your preorder for Madden, Deus Ex: Mankind Divided, or World of Warcraft: Legion, because the only game you will ever need is out now on Steam.
The game is a first person shooter with some of the best gunplay we have ever experienced. It doesn’t stop there though. Kimulator also has some of the best FMV cutscenes you will ever see. The actors might very well end up getting an Emmy. Hell they could have beaten Leonardo DiCaprio to the punch if it had released sooner.
The story of the game is that you’re a Canadian kid who is sent on a mission by Jesus Christ to kill a government leader. The poor kid needed some inspiration to take on such an epic mission. Therefore the life of his father and little cute puppy were threatened.
The soundtrack is really what stands out the most. If you enjoy nice crisp sounds and smooth melody. YOU MUST check out Kimulator.
Go check out Kimulator, 2016’s best kept secret!
10/10
Oh shit, I almost forgot. There is a special guest appearance by Dennis Rodman!
http://store.steampowered.com/app/475430/
(NOT!)
Thanks to Rev for the amazing gameplay and suggesting we review this game! #ImJesusMotherfucker
In case it isn’t entirely clear: This is a parody review. This game is garbage. I can’t give a negative score so the game is 0/10. I also didn’t play the game myself, I watched a friend play the game in a private video conference chat with others. It was pretty funny to experience but it is AWFUL. RevenantGamer was the player. If anything my night was entertaining!
The fact that this game even made it on to steam is mind boggling and should be a huge eye opener to Steam. Either scrap Greenlight or hire a few people to be quality assurance for Greenlight. Shit, I would do it for less than minimum wage. Or just give me complete access to all Steam games. Forever!
